Stretch yourself into areas of discomfort to raise your self esteem by taking the time to create short conversations with strangers of all ages, (men and women). The most opportune times will be when you gain eye contact, but the best breakthroughs and wins will be when you have to work at getting someone’s attention. You can use statements such as “What a beautiful dog?” (and continue to chat a bit about the dog). “Great hat!” or “Do you know how I get to Smith Street? I love the color of your hair”. You may be next to an old man in a shop. Stop and chat to him for a minute to make him feel good, or an old lady may be having difficulty reading a label in the supermarket and you can help her.
Keep taking risks to build your confidence, but never expect anything in return. Do it from the heart to make others feel good, and do it to build your confidence. You have greatness within you, and I urge you to keep doing it until it feels natural and it comes easily to you. Make this exercise part of your everyday life for the rest of your life and you will find it will give you a lot of happiness and peace within, because you will make a difference to other people’s lives as well as your own. And, as you know, the extra bonus will be that it will give you a lot more confidence with the opposite sex, and, on the odd rare occasion an interesting potential partner may hang around and emit very positive body language. It is at these times you can ask for their business card, or you can give them yours to catch up again. If you haven't got business cards, buy some blank cards from the news agency and write your details on them. Be prepared at all times and always carry them with you.
As part of this stretching process I also urge men to take risks and to be chivalrous to women of all ages, as this will help to build confidence with women. What is chivalry exactly? Chivalry is helping a woman who is struggling, or it is lending a helping hand when you see the need. A woman may have a heavy suitcase that she is having difficulty carrying, and you may suggest you carry it part of the way for her. Or, a lady may need a hand to lift a pram up some stairs, or her car may have broken down, and you can stop to help in some way, even if it’s just asking if she is okay. You can open doors for ladies - doors to restaurants, office doors, and shop doors. It is important however to be chivalrous from the goodness of your heart, and do it with no strings attached or hidden agendas. Interestingly though, you will find when you give freely and easily, and you detach from the outcome, that’s when someone special may just appear. There is a saying that the best love comes when we least expect it.
With these stretching exercises it is important to realize that some people may react negatively, but don’t worry about them, just move on. Work with the people who give you some sort of positive response. Try to get your strike rate for positive responses up to about 70 or 80%. Remember, a positive response may just be an acknowledgment or a smile, nothing more! If you keep getting negative responses it will be because you are emitting negative insecure signals via your body language and your energy field (our energy field contains our dominant thoughts which other people pick up on).
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”- Susan Jeffers
To get your strike rate higher you will need to constantly reprogram your negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Say your chosen affirmation (or positive statements) 50 times a day and write them 10 times a day for 3 weeks and watch the changes that will occur. For example, you may need to reprogram yourself with a positive statement such as, “People of all ages are attracted to my friendly energy”. When writing your statements it is important the statements you choose feels right for you on a deep level or they won’t work.
Personal development is not a quick fix, it takes time and effort and it has to be ongoing throughout our life. To be fit we need to exercise at least 4 times a week, and to be emotionally and spiritually strong the same applies. We need to work on ourselves on an inner level on a daily basis. Unfortunately, most people are too lazy to do the work. They prefer to take the easy option and then they wonder why they are over weight, unfit, or their relationships aren’t the way they want them to be.
The road less traveled leads to an amazing life. I constantly see the proof in my own life of the miracles that occur when we are on this track, as these things really work, but only when we do the work. As the saying goes “God helps those who help themselves”.
We all deserve a loving caring partner, but first of all we must become (and continue to be) the lover we are looking for.
By:Jane Roder
Keep taking risks to build your confidence, but never expect anything in return. Do it from the heart to make others feel good, and do it to build your confidence. You have greatness within you, and I urge you to keep doing it until it feels natural and it comes easily to you. Make this exercise part of your everyday life for the rest of your life and you will find it will give you a lot of happiness and peace within, because you will make a difference to other people’s lives as well as your own. And, as you know, the extra bonus will be that it will give you a lot more confidence with the opposite sex, and, on the odd rare occasion an interesting potential partner may hang around and emit very positive body language. It is at these times you can ask for their business card, or you can give them yours to catch up again. If you haven't got business cards, buy some blank cards from the news agency and write your details on them. Be prepared at all times and always carry them with you.
As part of this stretching process I also urge men to take risks and to be chivalrous to women of all ages, as this will help to build confidence with women. What is chivalry exactly? Chivalry is helping a woman who is struggling, or it is lending a helping hand when you see the need. A woman may have a heavy suitcase that she is having difficulty carrying, and you may suggest you carry it part of the way for her. Or, a lady may need a hand to lift a pram up some stairs, or her car may have broken down, and you can stop to help in some way, even if it’s just asking if she is okay. You can open doors for ladies - doors to restaurants, office doors, and shop doors. It is important however to be chivalrous from the goodness of your heart, and do it with no strings attached or hidden agendas. Interestingly though, you will find when you give freely and easily, and you detach from the outcome, that’s when someone special may just appear. There is a saying that the best love comes when we least expect it.
With these stretching exercises it is important to realize that some people may react negatively, but don’t worry about them, just move on. Work with the people who give you some sort of positive response. Try to get your strike rate for positive responses up to about 70 or 80%. Remember, a positive response may just be an acknowledgment or a smile, nothing more! If you keep getting negative responses it will be because you are emitting negative insecure signals via your body language and your energy field (our energy field contains our dominant thoughts which other people pick up on).
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”- Susan Jeffers
To get your strike rate higher you will need to constantly reprogram your negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Say your chosen affirmation (or positive statements) 50 times a day and write them 10 times a day for 3 weeks and watch the changes that will occur. For example, you may need to reprogram yourself with a positive statement such as, “People of all ages are attracted to my friendly energy”. When writing your statements it is important the statements you choose feels right for you on a deep level or they won’t work.
Personal development is not a quick fix, it takes time and effort and it has to be ongoing throughout our life. To be fit we need to exercise at least 4 times a week, and to be emotionally and spiritually strong the same applies. We need to work on ourselves on an inner level on a daily basis. Unfortunately, most people are too lazy to do the work. They prefer to take the easy option and then they wonder why they are over weight, unfit, or their relationships aren’t the way they want them to be.
The road less traveled leads to an amazing life. I constantly see the proof in my own life of the miracles that occur when we are on this track, as these things really work, but only when we do the work. As the saying goes “God helps those who help themselves”.
We all deserve a loving caring partner, but first of all we must become (and continue to be) the lover we are looking for.
By:Jane Roder
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